I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
