Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
