I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Found the puke drawer
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize