He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
