We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
