Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
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