everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Randomize
