Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Randomize
