Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
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