you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
