Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
