my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
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