I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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