woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Randomize
