PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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