she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
