Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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