I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
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