You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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