I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
