I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
