you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
just tell him i said nine months
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
