I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
from now on my penis is your penis
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize