Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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