brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
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