Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
