Midget sex pt 2 tonight
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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