I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
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