peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
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