??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I had to cum in my sink.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
