Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Randomize