So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
