Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize