hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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