can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize