I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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