I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
i just made my gag reflex go away.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
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