and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
