oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
