I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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