I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Randomize
