oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
