she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
