i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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