Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
