There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
