Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
