White coat. Heels.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
