Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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