No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
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