I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
lets start a swedish sibling band together
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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