your room smells of hookers.
And success
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
My balls are so social today.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Randomize
