OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
