Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
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