I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
