nut hugger
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
