Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Randomize
