Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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