she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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