Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Randomize
