Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize
